Over 30% of women in their 30s who currently reside in Seoul, Korea, are unmarried. While in the past, their status as single women would have resulted from personal or financial difficulties, a growing number of these women are choosing personal success over marriage. These “gold misses” are elite, highly educated women who believe that marriage is a choice, not a requirement. However, they often find that it is difficult to change that choice later on.
Ms. Hyesuk Oh (33) is the only female partner at her prestigious law firm. While she is not against the idea of marriage itself, she devoted her twenties to building her career, and could not find the time to date. Now that she has secured her career, she often asks people to introduce her to men with marriage potential, but the surprisingly unanimous response was that, “Because your income exceeds that of most men, all of the men we know are intimidated by you. Your success makes them feel unmanly.”
She added, “Sometimes I worry about my future as a single woman, but I do not believe in marrying just for the sake of having a husband. Also, I have many duties at my firm, and I want to focus on them without having to worry about cooking for my husband.” She emphasized that the decision to marry is a ‘choice’, not a ‘requirement.’
For Ms. Younsu Lee, (34) a professor at Korea University, it has been shockingly difficult to undo this “choice.” After several introductions to unmarried men, she discovered that almost all of them believed that she was too old to be single. An art major, she received her Ph.D. in America and believed that her good looks and academic expertise would make her a desirable marriage candidate. However, she found, “Every man I was introduced to was surprised that I, who seemed perfect, was unmarried. They all concluded that there must be something wrong with me.”
Gold misses seem to have it all: elite degrees, prestigious jobs, and financial wealth. They spend their twenties and thirties content, because they believe that their desirability will increase with their success. However, studies reveal a doleful reality; most men are threatened by highly successful women, and rarely consider them as potential wives. Gold misses have all that glitters, but it seems they are learning, too late, that they are missing gold.
This is a very interesting and well written article.
The women you interviewed sound awesome. Are Korean men really not interested in women who are smart, educated and successful???
I’m planning to move to Korea (from the U.S.) early next year. Hopefully I will be fortunate enough to meet a woman like the ones you described.
Cheers!