“Which is better, an A in an honors course, or a B in an AP course?” Nine out of ten Asian parents will either question the validity of the question or reply with a witty remark, “An A in an AP course.”
Of course, this does not apply to all the Asian parents out there. There are a good handful of Asian fathers and mothers who have grown up in the U.S. and are accustomed to Western parenting styles. Contrarily, loose parenting styles do not apply to all Western parents.
Since Amy Chua’s memoir, “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom” ,where she depicts the typical Asian mother as a woman who rules over her children with an iron fist, a battle has broken out between advocates of Western versus Asian parenting styles.
The loud gunshots from this battle have reached the ears of Jenna Dern, a freshman at Scripps Ranch High School.
Dern expressed concerns for her Asian peers who seem staggered by the pressure exerted by their parents. “Many of my peers feel extremely overwhelmed by the pressure they face from their Asian parents. On top of taking difficult classes, I notice that many kids also feel the need to participate in many extracurricular activities. In one way, these parents are doing what is technically best for their children, because it will surely help them get accepted into colleges and to manage tasks at once. But teenagers should also be able to gain independence and learn to take lead of their grades and activities without the influence of their parents.”
On the contrary, several Asian students believe that this “iron fist ruling” has proved effective in their success in school.
Jeffrey Chen, a Chinese student attending Scripps High as a freshman, responded, “As far as I can see and tell, Asian parenting is superior. Asian parenting gives much more incentive to maintain good grades.”
When asked whether or not he believes he would have performed better or worse academically in a Western household, Athen Park, a ninth-grader at Scripps stated, “If I was born into a Western family, I think I would be getting the same grades as of now because I usually study on my own.”
Ryan Seo, a senior at Scripps, had a different viewpoint from Park. “I definitely think I would not have been this successful with my grades without my pushy Korean parents. I’m sure that individual initiative has a lot to do with personal accomplishment, but environment, who and what you are surrounded by, is most important. I’m glad I’ve got demanding parents. They keep me up-to-date.”
Evidently, students hold different opinions on which parenting styles prove more effective. One thing that most, if not all, of the students seem to acknowledge is the fact that personal initiative is crucial in succeeding. It is just a difference between where the motivation comes from. For some, that extra push from a strict Asian parent does it, while for others, this initiative comes from their own will to succeed.
